God has a sense of humor. wanna know how i know this? well, i’ll tell you… He often puts a subject on my heart to write about, and, not long after i write it (or even during), i realize that i’m writing it for…me!
today is no exception. i sat down, and the words poured out about a subject that i really didn’t think twice about…until i read it back. you see, my heart is full of cracks and crevices full of hurts. some caused by others, some caused by my own self. healing is a journey, and here’s what it all comes down to…
hearing that word can most likely do one of two things.
it can give you warm fuzzies inside and make your heart happy.
it can fill you with dread or even emotional pain.
sometimes it can be both…depending on the day or circumstance.
why are friendships hard? i have often asked myself “how hard is it for people to just be kind?” i have been hurt, betrayed, ignored..i could go on. i often wonder if i have ever unknowingly been the cause of any of those. it makes my heart sad to know that i probably have. we all have. ya know why? … it’s because we are not perfect. not one of us. i have also been encouraged, uplifted and overjoyed in friendships. bet you can’t guess which i’d rather! ha!
so here is the most important factor in friendship… ready?
be willing to hear and admit that you aren’t perfect.
sure, most of us would say that we aren’t perfect. but if someone comes to us and says, “hey, what you did hurt me” or “i’m feeling like you are treating me [insert negative action here]”, how do we react? are we defensive? do we shoot them down or get angry? or do we take a minute and digest what is being said? do we take a step back and prayerfully examine our heart?
ouch! right?! ….been there!
some of us have stories that include others betraying us or spreading lies about us or someone we love. I’ve been there too!
what kind of friend are we? what kind of friend-material are we emulating for our kids so they, too, can have healthy friendships?
i have heard it said “to have a friend, you must be a friend”… and while that can be true in many cases, i have found it sometimes isn’t. in my opinion, it’s all about perspective. and all of us have a different one. imagine that! we may think someone isn’t a good friend… but that’s just OUR perspective because maybe from their perspective, they are being the best friend they can be!
and here, we insert GRACE. it’s grace that can only be a God-filled kind…because sometimes it’s definitely not felt. sometimes we just wanna turn all “mean girl”… and we’ve all made that poor choice at one time or another, unfortunately. it’s a daily choice (and prayer) for grace.
i know i write often about grace… i mean, c’mon, it IS my word for the year… but God is showing me so much about it. it seems like no matter what i write about, it all comes back to grace.
we have been given grace and mercy. so many times i wonder how in the world God could forgive me again. but He does! do we deserve it? …nope. yet, daily He pours it out on us. how could we possibly not do the same?