valentine’s day (…and what i’d tell my 21 yr old self if i could go back)

valentine’s day is my favorite holiday.

i give no apologies for that fact. i am cheesily in love with everything cheesy about it. i love the heart décor, the heart shaped pancakes or sandwiches, the chocolate… ahh yes, the chocolate.

i love the romantic part of it… exchanging gifts with my husband and making an entire day about hearts. sure, we celebrate “love” but the holiday seems to focus on material love. ya know, the gifts, the food, the dates… it’s actually pretty superficial. that’s not real love.

as we mommas have learned, becoming an adult brings many lessons. one big one is love. love is not romance and getting carried away with another person. it is not the fluttering of your heart or wanting to be with someone every second of every day.

true love…the love that matters, the love that lasts… is not a feeling.

don’t get me wrong… again, i love valentine’s day… it is my favorite.

but we cannot get it confused with true love. as a young bride, if my husband didn’t live up to my ever-exceeding expectations of the romantic day i thought he should plan, i felt like he didn’t love me. it sounds so extremely silly to me now, but that is truly how i felt. poor guy!! the pressure he must’ve felt on that day. he probably dreaded it for the entire year leading up to it. who could possibly live up to that?! and then young girls wonder why they can’t find the “perfect guy”. oh my…

HE DOES NOT EXSIST. i mean, c’mon… sweetheart, we aren’t perfect either. if you’re anything like me, an early morning before my coffee is grounds for my over-the-top “unperfectness” (spell check just loves my invention of new words! ha!)

true love is so many things. if you want answers, just open your Bible. the Word of God has so much to say on this very topic. however, in a marriage relationship, here are a few things i have learned (and am still learning) love looks like.

love takes the garbage out.

love goes upstairs in the night when the baby cries so your spouse can sleep.

love makes coffee each and every morning (even though he doesn’t drink it)

love makes lunch for the other when they are running late for work.

love prays for the other, even though our own day is the “worst day ever”.

love does dishes.

love gives a hug or a listening ear.

love forgives. and forgives again. and forgives. did i mention it forgives?

love doesn’t take things personally.

love tries to look at situations from the other perspective.

love listens to hear…not just to respond.

love is worth sacrifice.

love is a gift.


what can you add to this list?

oh and….






Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s